Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.
I want to know what it means to truly delight myself in the LORD.
To be so enraptured and caught up in my adoration for Him that all else pales drastically.
It's so easy to say that I want to make His Name great, to bring Him glory...
...but what does that look like?
"Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me
I’m not afraid"
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Monday, March 3, 2008
So, I was bored in class...
... and this is what was born out of my boredom:
Things I love:
1. My daily cup of coffee
2. King ranch f250s
3. Warm weather
4. The original Law & Order
5. Prescriptives’ concealer
6. Writing in my journal
7. Adventures in Odyssey
8. The book, “Flabbergasted”
9. Black and white pictures
10. Clementine oranges
11. My dad’s laugh
12. The smell of baby shampoo
13. Making lists…
14. Stargazer lilies
15. The name Caleb
16. Southern accents
17. A wood-burning fireplace on a cold night
18. The color blue
19. Blogging. Even if no one reads mine :)
20. Making up new words
21. Subway sandwiches
22. The Woodlands, TX
23. The Bob Newhart Show
24. Cold Mac & Cheese
25. Simon Cowell
26. Texas country
27. Big earrings
28. The drive from my house to Lake Conroe via FM 149 and FM 1097
29. Talking like a TV news anchor
30. The ranch dip at Chickfila
31. 106.9 The Point
32. Little black dresses
33. Romans 8
34. Dancing in my apartment, and making a complete fool of myself
35. Inside jokes
36. Crunchy peanut butter
37. My extended family’s practical jokes
38. The smell of Expo markers
39. The song “Goodbye Girl”
40. Great Danes
41. Laying on my roof and watching the stars
42. Alone time
43. Hide and seek
44. Cleaning out my ears
45. Half-price Books
46. Old records
47. Crest whitening strips
48. Stiletto heels
49. Catching people picking their noses at stoplights
50. Cowboy hats
51. Sleeping when it’s raining outside
52. Creating awkward moments
53. Phone calls from Guam
Things I hate:
1. A bad internet connection
2. Cloudy, cold weather
3. Stomach aches
4. The word “ gyrate”
5. Mean people
6. Smelly people
7. Mullets
8. Guys who wear short shorts
9. Sushi
10. Guys who don’t take no for an answer
11. Being manipulated
12. Dirty dishes
13. Tongue piercings
14. Legalism
15. Humidity on the days I straighten my hair
16. The sound fingernails make on a blackboard
17. Having to clean the hair out of the shower drain
18. Spiders
19. Soggy breakfast cereal
20. Bad breath
21. 99% of the music my brother listens to (sorry Dan)
22. Boiled eggs
23. How far away Guam is from Texas
24. Skinny jeans. Mostly cause they make me look like an inverted food pyramid.
25. People who act like they know everything
26. Tomatoes
27. Current gas prices
28. When the dishwasher is loaded improperly
29. Nose hairs
30. The TV show, “The Hills”
31. The sound of someone throwing up
32. Amy Winehouse’s hairdo
33. The pushy people who work at kiosks at the mall
34. Insecure drivers
35. Geese, especially the ones by Building 4
36. Granny panties
37. The song “Summer Love” by Justin Timberlake…bad memories, don’t ask
38. Being tickled
39. Jack Black in tights (Nacho Libre)
40. Trying to communicate with the customer service people at Dell who barely speak English
41. Speeding tickets
42. Tetanus shots
43. Radio commercials for The Dump
44. Shopping malls
45. Stopped-up toilets
46. People who don’t wash their hands in public restrooms
47. The movie “Elf” with Will Ferrell
48. Blood (I pass out)
49. Mushrooms on pizza
50. Low-rider trucks
51. The fact that Dallas doesn’t have feeder roads
52. Misuse of “your” and “you’re”
Things I love:
1. My daily cup of coffee
2. King ranch f250s
3. Warm weather
4. The original Law & Order
5. Prescriptives’ concealer
6. Writing in my journal
7. Adventures in Odyssey
8. The book, “Flabbergasted”
9. Black and white pictures
10. Clementine oranges
11. My dad’s laugh
12. The smell of baby shampoo
13. Making lists…
14. Stargazer lilies
15. The name Caleb
16. Southern accents
17. A wood-burning fireplace on a cold night
18. The color blue
19. Blogging. Even if no one reads mine :)
20. Making up new words
21. Subway sandwiches
22. The Woodlands, TX
23. The Bob Newhart Show
24. Cold Mac & Cheese
25. Simon Cowell
26. Texas country
27. Big earrings
28. The drive from my house to Lake Conroe via FM 149 and FM 1097
29. Talking like a TV news anchor
30. The ranch dip at Chickfila
31. 106.9 The Point
32. Little black dresses
33. Romans 8
34. Dancing in my apartment, and making a complete fool of myself
35. Inside jokes
36. Crunchy peanut butter
37. My extended family’s practical jokes
38. The smell of Expo markers
39. The song “Goodbye Girl”
40. Great Danes
41. Laying on my roof and watching the stars
42. Alone time
43. Hide and seek
44. Cleaning out my ears
45. Half-price Books
46. Old records
47. Crest whitening strips
48. Stiletto heels
49. Catching people picking their noses at stoplights
50. Cowboy hats
51. Sleeping when it’s raining outside
52. Creating awkward moments
53. Phone calls from Guam
Things I hate:
1. A bad internet connection
2. Cloudy, cold weather
3. Stomach aches
4. The word “ gyrate”
5. Mean people
6. Smelly people
7. Mullets
8. Guys who wear short shorts
9. Sushi
10. Guys who don’t take no for an answer
11. Being manipulated
12. Dirty dishes
13. Tongue piercings
14. Legalism
15. Humidity on the days I straighten my hair
16. The sound fingernails make on a blackboard
17. Having to clean the hair out of the shower drain
18. Spiders
19. Soggy breakfast cereal
20. Bad breath
21. 99% of the music my brother listens to (sorry Dan)
22. Boiled eggs
23. How far away Guam is from Texas
24. Skinny jeans. Mostly cause they make me look like an inverted food pyramid.
25. People who act like they know everything
26. Tomatoes
27. Current gas prices
28. When the dishwasher is loaded improperly
29. Nose hairs
30. The TV show, “The Hills”
31. The sound of someone throwing up
32. Amy Winehouse’s hairdo
33. The pushy people who work at kiosks at the mall
34. Insecure drivers
35. Geese, especially the ones by Building 4
36. Granny panties
37. The song “Summer Love” by Justin Timberlake…bad memories, don’t ask
38. Being tickled
39. Jack Black in tights (Nacho Libre)
40. Trying to communicate with the customer service people at Dell who barely speak English
41. Speeding tickets
42. Tetanus shots
43. Radio commercials for The Dump
44. Shopping malls
45. Stopped-up toilets
46. People who don’t wash their hands in public restrooms
47. The movie “Elf” with Will Ferrell
48. Blood (I pass out)
49. Mushrooms on pizza
50. Low-rider trucks
51. The fact that Dallas doesn’t have feeder roads
52. Misuse of “your” and “you’re”
Monday, February 18, 2008
Passion Conference 08
Passion was phenomenal.
God spoke so clearly through the worship and the teaching, and even just during times of reflection. A few things I jotted down in my journal during some of the teaching sessions with Louie and Frances:
"I have been so disillusioned, thinking that God's power is contingent on me. My failures may be proof that my flesh is weak, but they will never render me useless to the Kingdom of God, because God's Holy Spirit - in all its glory and all its power - is ALWAYS strong. Nothing I do will change the fact that He can do anything...
I want to be moved,
I want to be new,
I want to be used by You"
Caedmon's Call has a song called "The Truth", and the chorus simply says,
...there was life before my life, was provision before my need, was redemption before my sin
for the sake of the world, I thank the Lord that the truth's not contingent on me
During one of Louie's teaching sessions, I began writing this song. Finished it that night when I got back. I think it's something that God has been trying to tell me for a little while... ironically, the next day (Sunday morning) at church, Pastor John talked about almost the exact same thing as Louie had (what inspired this song). I don't know what's coming, but I know that I can rely on My Jesus for strength in any and every circumstance, and I will rest in that knowledge.
When the floor falls out from under you
And the world has left you torn in two
When trouble's near, and when you fear,
Take heart, for I've overcome the world
I am Peace
I am King
All you need, all you need
Run to Me
Cling to Me
Let me be all you seek, all you need
I cannot avoid adversity
But I can stand strong
You are greater, bigger, more powerful
Than the darkest of nights and my foolish pride
You are Peace
You are King
All I need, all I need
I'll run to You
Cling to You
Let You be all I seek, all I need
God spoke so clearly through the worship and the teaching, and even just during times of reflection. A few things I jotted down in my journal during some of the teaching sessions with Louie and Frances:
"I have been so disillusioned, thinking that God's power is contingent on me. My failures may be proof that my flesh is weak, but they will never render me useless to the Kingdom of God, because God's Holy Spirit - in all its glory and all its power - is ALWAYS strong. Nothing I do will change the fact that He can do anything...
I want to be moved,
I want to be new,
I want to be used by You"
Caedmon's Call has a song called "The Truth", and the chorus simply says,
...there was life before my life, was provision before my need, was redemption before my sin
for the sake of the world, I thank the Lord that the truth's not contingent on me
During one of Louie's teaching sessions, I began writing this song. Finished it that night when I got back. I think it's something that God has been trying to tell me for a little while... ironically, the next day (Sunday morning) at church, Pastor John talked about almost the exact same thing as Louie had (what inspired this song). I don't know what's coming, but I know that I can rely on My Jesus for strength in any and every circumstance, and I will rest in that knowledge.
When the floor falls out from under you
And the world has left you torn in two
When trouble's near, and when you fear,
Take heart, for I've overcome the world
I am Peace
I am King
All you need, all you need
Run to Me
Cling to Me
Let me be all you seek, all you need
I cannot avoid adversity
But I can stand strong
You are greater, bigger, more powerful
Than the darkest of nights and my foolish pride
You are Peace
You are King
All I need, all I need
I'll run to You
Cling to You
Let You be all I seek, all I need
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Cows Teach Politics
A friend posted this on facebook, and it nearly killed me I laughed so hard.
----------------------------------------------
"Lesson In Political Science"
DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
----------------------------------------------
"Lesson In Political Science"
DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Ruth Bell Graham
...has for years been my mom's greatest role model and inspiration. And in the last few months, she has become one of mine as well. I stumbled upon this quote tonight as I was perusing various websites. This is what she wrote in her journal just before becoming Mrs. Billy Graham:
“If I marry Bill, I must marry him with my eyes open. He will be increasingly burdened for lost souls and increasingly active in the Lord’s work. After the joy and satisfaction of knowing that I am his by rights, and his forever, I will slip into the background.”
“If I marry Bill, I must marry him with my eyes open. He will be increasingly burdened for lost souls and increasingly active in the Lord’s work. After the joy and satisfaction of knowing that I am his by rights, and his forever, I will slip into the background.”
“In short,” she added, “be a lost life. Lost in Bill’s.”
Thursday, February 7, 2008
So I'm in this hybrid class, see...
... and for this week's assignment, I'm supposed to come up with five questions for myself. And answer them, I'm assuming. Wouldn't make sense to ask five questions and just leave them sitting there, unanswered.
Huh.
Been a long week, can you tell?
So here goes:
1. Why did you choose to major in Communications?
- Funny you should ask. Originally I was debating between education and communication, and when it came time to register for classes as a freshman, I decided to go with education. Long story short, I didn't particularly enjoy my first education class, so I switched the next semester to comm. It's more broad, and there's lots I want to do. Plus my mom was a DJ for a Christian radio station before I was born, and I always thought that was cool. When I was little, I was always calling and winning prizes on-air, mostly because I loved hearing myself on the radio. Self-absorbed? I was like, EIGHT... (so yes)
2. Where are you right now?
- Without being too specific? Best place on earth. Home.
3. What makes it the best place on earth?
- #1. I'M here. (kidding)
#2. You can actually see the stars at night. My first night back in Dallas, and for at least a week after that, I would go outside hoping to stargaze, but I couldn't find a single star. Even on the clearest nights. It was highly disappointing.
#3. We have a few acres, and it's mostly wooded, so from the road you really can't see our house... I like the privacy, it's a nice relief from living around a bazillion college students (no offense)
#4. Our town has less than 2,000 people... you can't go into town (ha) without running into at least two or three people you know.
4. Have you ever ridden an elephant?
- Why yes I have, how strange that you would know that.
5. What is your favorite book and why?
- As far as fiction, it would have to be a tie between Flabbergasted and A Delirious Summer, both written by Ray Blackston. I love the style they're written in, very conversational. And hilarious. Unfortunately I loaned out the second one, and lost the first, so one of these days I'll have to hit up amazon.com and find 'em for a few bucks.
- As far as non-fiction, I can't remember the last non-fiction book I read past the second chapter. I just lose interest, I guess. Oh, wait, there was...........nope, nevermind. Didn't finish that one either.
Huh.
Been a long week, can you tell?
So here goes:
1. Why did you choose to major in Communications?
- Funny you should ask. Originally I was debating between education and communication, and when it came time to register for classes as a freshman, I decided to go with education. Long story short, I didn't particularly enjoy my first education class, so I switched the next semester to comm. It's more broad, and there's lots I want to do. Plus my mom was a DJ for a Christian radio station before I was born, and I always thought that was cool. When I was little, I was always calling and winning prizes on-air, mostly because I loved hearing myself on the radio. Self-absorbed? I was like, EIGHT... (so yes)
2. Where are you right now?
- Without being too specific? Best place on earth. Home.
3. What makes it the best place on earth?
- #1. I'M here. (kidding)
#2. You can actually see the stars at night. My first night back in Dallas, and for at least a week after that, I would go outside hoping to stargaze, but I couldn't find a single star. Even on the clearest nights. It was highly disappointing.
#3. We have a few acres, and it's mostly wooded, so from the road you really can't see our house... I like the privacy, it's a nice relief from living around a bazillion college students (no offense)
#4. Our town has less than 2,000 people... you can't go into town (ha) without running into at least two or three people you know.
4. Have you ever ridden an elephant?
- Why yes I have, how strange that you would know that.
5. What is your favorite book and why?
- As far as fiction, it would have to be a tie between Flabbergasted and A Delirious Summer, both written by Ray Blackston. I love the style they're written in, very conversational. And hilarious. Unfortunately I loaned out the second one, and lost the first, so one of these days I'll have to hit up amazon.com and find 'em for a few bucks.
- As far as non-fiction, I can't remember the last non-fiction book I read past the second chapter. I just lose interest, I guess. Oh, wait, there was...........nope, nevermind. Didn't finish that one either.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Restless
I am itching for something - a change of scenery, change of pace, something to keep me busy and somewhere to pour all of this pent-up energy to keep from going completely out of my mind. And as much as I would love to write it off as senioritis (long-coming senioritis at that), I cannot overlook the fact that it's something more. A stronger gnawing, impatience, and growing dissatisfaction with life than ever before. Like I need to run for days without stopping, without looking back or pausing to analyze where I'm headed or what it will mean in the grand scheme of things. It's an itch that I can't scratch (and I'm sure there's a song or two or twelve in that line). I'm shaking inside, so very ready to let go & take off, but I haven't been given the "okay" to do so, and at times, I feel utterly consumed by this restless energy...
And yet,
You call me to be silent.
To be still.
To know You are God,
... regardless of my heart, my surroundings, my impatience.
"Still God"
(C) February 2, 2008
VERSE 1
My mind is getting caught up again in uncertainty
And just like that, I'm back where I don't want to be
Afraid that You don't know what's best for my heart
Afraid that if I let go, my world will fall apart
CHORUS
But You're still true
You're still good
You're still God
No matter what I believe
You're still true
You're still good
You're still God
No matter what I can see,
You're still true...
VERSE 2
Sometimes I feel like life is one big second guess
And I'm running around in circles, trying to pass some sort of test
And I can never find the time to just be still and rest
Because my schedule is filled with things I believe to be "best"
CHORUS
But You're still true
You're still good
You're still God
No matter what I believe
You're still true
You're still good
You're still God
No matter what I can see,
You're still true.
Some things I began jotting down in church yesterday:
The devil would love for me to be entangled in the past - my mistakes, failures, disappointment in myself, my fear for the future, worry, self-doubt. Why do I not see these as attacks? So often I make these my religious prison, as if I need to punish myself before I can be "free" in Christ. Like I shouldn't experience peace, or joy, or satisfaction in Him, because I would be denying my own flawed humanity, the fact that I am fallible flesh. But when it all comes down to it, God is GREATER. And He simply calls me to set my gaze on Him. Not the world to my left, not the world to my right, not to my past, not to my future, but simply to HIM - to see His grace, His power, His truth in my life. And simply let the knowledge of the fact that I am loved by the God of all Creation, the King of all eternity, be enough to lead me from one day into another.
"Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised. For yet in a very little while, He who is coming will come, and will not delay. But My righteous one shall life by faith, and if he shrinks back, My soul has no pleasure in him." - Hebrews 10:35-38
"All"
(c) February 3, 2008
I will lay
All of me
Down at Your feet
-- it's all that I can give
A broken spirit,
Worn at the edges,
Longing, Lord, to live
Sold out for You
Nothing in the way
No matter the chaos
Exhaustion, or lack of faith
All I can offer
Are these tears at the altar
And hope that they're enough,
Lord I hope that they're enough
To bring You praise
-- it's all for You
And yet,
You call me to be silent.
To be still.
To know You are God,
... regardless of my heart, my surroundings, my impatience.
"Still God"
(C) February 2, 2008
VERSE 1
My mind is getting caught up again in uncertainty
And just like that, I'm back where I don't want to be
Afraid that You don't know what's best for my heart
Afraid that if I let go, my world will fall apart
CHORUS
But You're still true
You're still good
You're still God
No matter what I believe
You're still true
You're still good
You're still God
No matter what I can see,
You're still true...
VERSE 2
Sometimes I feel like life is one big second guess
And I'm running around in circles, trying to pass some sort of test
And I can never find the time to just be still and rest
Because my schedule is filled with things I believe to be "best"
CHORUS
But You're still true
You're still good
You're still God
No matter what I believe
You're still true
You're still good
You're still God
No matter what I can see,
You're still true.
Some things I began jotting down in church yesterday:
The devil would love for me to be entangled in the past - my mistakes, failures, disappointment in myself, my fear for the future, worry, self-doubt. Why do I not see these as attacks? So often I make these my religious prison, as if I need to punish myself before I can be "free" in Christ. Like I shouldn't experience peace, or joy, or satisfaction in Him, because I would be denying my own flawed humanity, the fact that I am fallible flesh. But when it all comes down to it, God is GREATER. And He simply calls me to set my gaze on Him. Not the world to my left, not the world to my right, not to my past, not to my future, but simply to HIM - to see His grace, His power, His truth in my life. And simply let the knowledge of the fact that I am loved by the God of all Creation, the King of all eternity, be enough to lead me from one day into another.
"Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised. For yet in a very little while, He who is coming will come, and will not delay. But My righteous one shall life by faith, and if he shrinks back, My soul has no pleasure in him." - Hebrews 10:35-38
"All"
(c) February 3, 2008
I will lay
All of me
Down at Your feet
-- it's all that I can give
A broken spirit,
Worn at the edges,
Longing, Lord, to live
Sold out for You
Nothing in the way
No matter the chaos
Exhaustion, or lack of faith
All I can offer
Are these tears at the altar
And hope that they're enough,
Lord I hope that they're enough
To bring You praise
-- it's all for You
Monday, January 28, 2008
July 17, 2006
I posted these lyrics (and wrote this "intro") about a year and a half ago. It's as true today as it was then.
these are the lyrics to the song that I want to define my life and my relationship with Christ. I've heard this song so many times, but somehow I rarely stop and listen to just what the words are saying.
MISTAKEN
Warren Barfield
VERSE 1:
I shouldn't have to tell you who I am,
Cause who I am should be speaking for itself
Cause if I am who I want to be, then who you see won't even be me
Oh the more and more I disappear, the more and more He becomes clear
CHORUS:
Til everyone I talk to hears His voice
And everything I touch feels the warmth of His hand
Til everyone I meet sees Jesus in me, this is all I want to be
I want to be mistaken for Jesus
Oh I want to be mistaken
VERSE 2:
Do they only see who we are, when who we are should be pointing them to Christ
Cause we are who He chose to use to spread the news of the way the truth and the life
Oh I want all I am to die....so all He is can come alive
CHORUS:
Til everyone I talk to hears His voice
And everything I touch feels the warmth of His hand
Til everyone I meet sees Jesus in me, this is all I want to be
I want to be mistaken for Jesus
Oh I want to be mistaken
Oh I need to be mistaken for You, Lord.. .I want to be mistaken
BRIDGE:
May He touch with my hands
See through my eyes
May He speak through my lips
Live through my life
these are the lyrics to the song that I want to define my life and my relationship with Christ. I've heard this song so many times, but somehow I rarely stop and listen to just what the words are saying.
MISTAKEN
Warren Barfield
VERSE 1:
I shouldn't have to tell you who I am,
Cause who I am should be speaking for itself
Cause if I am who I want to be, then who you see won't even be me
Oh the more and more I disappear, the more and more He becomes clear
CHORUS:
Til everyone I talk to hears His voice
And everything I touch feels the warmth of His hand
Til everyone I meet sees Jesus in me, this is all I want to be
I want to be mistaken for Jesus
Oh I want to be mistaken
VERSE 2:
Do they only see who we are, when who we are should be pointing them to Christ
Cause we are who He chose to use to spread the news of the way the truth and the life
Oh I want all I am to die....so all He is can come alive
CHORUS:
Til everyone I talk to hears His voice
And everything I touch feels the warmth of His hand
Til everyone I meet sees Jesus in me, this is all I want to be
I want to be mistaken for Jesus
Oh I want to be mistaken
Oh I need to be mistaken for You, Lord.. .I want to be mistaken
BRIDGE:
May He touch with my hands
See through my eyes
May He speak through my lips
Live through my life
Friday, January 18, 2008
Waiting...
As I begin my final semester of college, I'm suddenly made aware of the fact that I have some huge, life-altering decisions to make within the next few months. It's overwhelming, really, and part of me can't believe I have made it this far. I guess as a kid, and even throughout high school, I had certain expectations for myself post-college. And the majority of my "dreams" have yet to come to fruition, which is fine, but it leaves me feeling a little bit discouraged at times. Although is exciting to know that the LORD has plans for me, and I get to be a part of His purposes and His kingdom... I struggle with letting go of MY agenda, MY hopes, MY comfort.
I made God a promise not too long ago that if He would pull some strings for such-and-such in my life, I'd be willing to wait as many as ten years for it to happen.
Word to the wise: Don't do that.
....Ever.
(Unless you're prepared for the longest ten years OF YOUR LIFE.)
Ha. I don't know if I didn't expect His answer to be "yes", or I didn't plan on getting the opportunity to prove my commitment, or maybe I just didn't expect Him to take me seriously (I wouldn't have). But I am starting to wonder if *maybe*... just MAYBE... I spoke too soon. Because here it is, my turn to hold up my end of the deal, and I am a HECK of a lot less patient than I realized. He's teaching me what it really means to WAIT on Him, to trust that He knows my needs and my future better than I ever will. It's a hard lesson - a lesson I've been needing to learn for quite some time - but a difficult one nonetheless.
And in the midst of my impatience - despite the fact that I fight for what I want, and then I fight again when things aren't EXACTLY how I want them to be - in the midst of all this. He is still good, and He is still God.
So I wait.
There's a song that I sang for church in high school called "I Will Listen". The second verse says:
"This is the faith, patience to wait when there is nothing clear
Nothing to see, still we believe Jesus is very near
I can not imagine what will come, but I've already made my choice
And this is where I stand until He moves me on
And I will listen to His voice"
In all of this, I am again reminded that His best is worth the wait. In the past, I have tried to make things happen according to my plans and dreams, and it's ended with nothing but disaster. I am willing to wait on Him this time. :)
"I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, and in His word I do hope" - Ps. 130:5
I made God a promise not too long ago that if He would pull some strings for such-and-such in my life, I'd be willing to wait as many as ten years for it to happen.
Word to the wise: Don't do that.
....Ever.
(Unless you're prepared for the longest ten years OF YOUR LIFE.)
Ha. I don't know if I didn't expect His answer to be "yes", or I didn't plan on getting the opportunity to prove my commitment, or maybe I just didn't expect Him to take me seriously (I wouldn't have). But I am starting to wonder if *maybe*... just MAYBE... I spoke too soon. Because here it is, my turn to hold up my end of the deal, and I am a HECK of a lot less patient than I realized. He's teaching me what it really means to WAIT on Him, to trust that He knows my needs and my future better than I ever will. It's a hard lesson - a lesson I've been needing to learn for quite some time - but a difficult one nonetheless.
And in the midst of my impatience - despite the fact that I fight for what I want, and then I fight again when things aren't EXACTLY how I want them to be - in the midst of all this. He is still good, and He is still God.
So I wait.
There's a song that I sang for church in high school called "I Will Listen". The second verse says:
"This is the faith, patience to wait when there is nothing clear
Nothing to see, still we believe Jesus is very near
I can not imagine what will come, but I've already made my choice
And this is where I stand until He moves me on
And I will listen to His voice"
In all of this, I am again reminded that His best is worth the wait. In the past, I have tried to make things happen according to my plans and dreams, and it's ended with nothing but disaster. I am willing to wait on Him this time. :)
"I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, and in His word I do hope" - Ps. 130:5
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)